That time..

There is a time in every woman's life at least once a month, or maybe more than that (depending on the woman) that her hormones go off. It is usually around the time when she ovulates, or just after. Nevertheless, it leaves a woman wanting, needing, requiring some companionship, intimacy and okay some sex.

I woke up this morning, with a love jones. Only thing is, who is my love jones for? That led me to go over my relationship library. Out of all of the men I was involved, there wasn't one man that was totally complete. I guess thats why there are so many of them. Trying to piece together a man from fragments of qualities that my past lovers had, led me to this love jones.

I mean I miss the way, DG would roll over and kiss my neck in the morning, but then I miss the way, I could roll over and just do what I wanted with TG. Or how I would play hard to get with KR (w0w, I left him out), anyway. Thats when I realized that I missed a part of every man I have been involved with.

DG was sincere, and honest and innocent, but then TG was really scandalous and funky. And honestly RT had a serious dick game. When I just wanted some serious dick and serious sex, I would go back to RT. But on the other hand, RT was insanely jealous, and TG was always in trouble and DG was always crying about something...

So missing part of all of these men, I also don't miss part of these men. Why couldn't DG have TG's toughness. Why couldn't TG have DG's sensitivity and why couldn't RT not be married!

Anyway, the one thing that groups these men are that they desired me. I mean come on, every woman wants to be desired. That is part of the essence of a woman. Her inner most request of every man she becomes involves with is a partial obsession, a longing. And every man wants a woman to be his sex slave, and trust me, most of us are. But we do it because we want to. KR, whom I subconsciously left out of my relationship library, he was almost every part of the others, with the exception of one thing.

I was never empty nor full with him. I was always guessing and so was he. That made it exciting... I could be honest and not honest at times, and it was okay, for some reason. He was obsessed with me. We could talk for hours and then have sex for hours and then sit and talk again. I could wake up in my sleep, because I felt him watching me. I was happy sometimes listening and feeling him breathe. He was very bright and witty. Its not the norm for a black man to be bright or witty. He was quick with his tongue. He was sensitive like DG, he was dark like TG and he had a dick game like RT.

So, is my love jones for KR, RT or DG or TG? Nope, its for a shadow of a man that all of these qualities create.