today, he told me that he wasn't the same person he was when we first got together. Umm, you're not supposed to be. Only that he said he didn't like who was now...wow.
after me tolerating and accepting him for the past three years...he now has the courage to tell me what I think he has been feeling all along.
It started on Sunday. Where after an emotional weekend with him as well as my mother. We reached that point. "That point," where you know the decision you make will change the relationship. It just matters how you respond from that change. Either you will grow from it, or you will regress. I think we grew, but I'm know realizing that he went that way, and I went this way. Something that I have been asking for the entire relationship, now comes, but comes in a way, that may cause the end of it. I look in his eyes now, and I see confusion, and indecision. Where before, I saw obliviousness.
He asked me if I thought we would make it. Of course I do..well I did..until; I think the incident with another couple has made him more clearer, which is good. Although, I think in his clarity he had realized that i'm not what he wants for the rest of his life. Yes, I'm hurt, because not only, have I have been convinced of this for the past two years, I have continued to stay and try and make him want to be with me. But I'm hurt because I have stayed these past two years, not really believing that he would love me the way I want to be loved, and the way he loves me.
wow... disappointed and heartbroken...at the same time.
after four days, he has clarity...where I have been clear for two years, but its been overshadowed by hope...while I still have feelings for him, are they enough to stay and take this massive new quandary? that doesn't even matter...I dont want a man, that doesn't want to be with me 100%. who isn't quite sure of his feelings or quite sure of who he is. So I'm single once again...
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