longing

longing is the only way i can describe it. He hasn't touched me in two days...normally when we go to bed his hands cradle my breasts as if that's where they are supposed to be. for the last two days, he hasn't even breathed on me... just a few moments ago, i realized that i missed his touch so much, that even the slightest rub would make me so happy... I actually know now what it means to "long" for something, someone.. in the kitchen just now, he reached for a glass and i could feel him next to me, without touching me and i almost broke down in tears...

its too soon for this...isn't it? we aren't even married yet...its been 1 year and almost three months...since we have officially been in this relationship, and i fear that my future husband is no longer "longing" for me, but yet he asked me to marry him...whats happening...

how did we get here...Friday, the teenage girls joked with him about me having a "girlfriend." he asked me about it, and i jokingly said its nothing. But apparently its something.

he just will not talk about it...i don't know what to do...if i go another night without his closeness, it will not be pleasant for me.

what i really fear, is what if its too late..